My recent blessing

It has been quite a while since I have posted. Its not that God has not laid anything on my heart its that God has filled up my life! Its unbelievable the blessings God has been arranging in my life these past couple of months. I am no longer weary and tired from trials and tribulations, I am tired in a good way. We went from not doing a whole lot for the church to becoming Sunday School teachers to 9-11 yr olds. Dan began working as the Men's leader and we are both directing and coaching Bible quizzing. Sunday school is exceedingly rewarding. These kids are eager to learn and they participate wholeheartedly. I enjoy every single one of them. Its very rewarding. If you have never taught Sunday School before and you are feeling that your life is not going anywhere and that everything is at a standstill...Go teach Sunday School! While at Camp meeting we were talking to a local pastor and suddenly the burden of Bible quizzing was laid on my heart. It had been on my husbands heart apparently already, but now it was on both of us. From that moment I purposed in my heart that this would go forward. While at Camp meeting we asked around and got feedback and approval to go for it! Everyone I talked to said the same thing " Its a lot of hard work!." But through God all things are possible. Of course, they were all right. It is a lot of work. But....when the kids were so excited about it, it renews your energy. When they run up to you quoting scripture, it reignites the fire inside. When you hear these 7-8 yr olds discussing how hard a verse was and how they memorized it....the burden gets lighter! When I did not think there was anyone that was going to give us a hand and that we would figure this out all alone, God provided. He gave us a local pastor that stretched out and is coaching us along with a great spirit! Its amazing to see God work in your life. When you really dont think there is much to do, God pours down His will and His sustenance to do His will. We have been busy doing fundraising and have been able to order material. The kids actual start day is today with memorization. We have a practice in 2 weeks for the first time. I believe that will help encourage the kids of how much fun this is going to be. My son asked me how can someone do all that we are doing right now...he said you cant do all that. But with God....you can! I am so thankful that God has put this into my life. From where I came from...to where I am now is not by my doing, its God's. If I were to look back when I was...say 13...you would not have thought this was possible in my life. If you were to look back from the age of 15 or 16 or even 3 years ago...you would have said there was no hope. And now, God has blessed this family more than I could have ever dreamed! I had to let go of several things so God could place this in my hands. When I finally said, I am done, God said, Okay, here you go! When I was ready to let go of all the past struggles and the lack of self worth and trust God, He turned around and gave me a gift. Its hard to let go of things, its because we maybe dont fully trust God. If you don't trust someone you are not going to give them something to hold onto for you. Its difficult to let go of things because we have held onto them for so long. Our hands are clasped so tight. But, if you let go, there are blessings abundantly waiting for you. Blessings that you can't contain. I did not come from a line of Pentecostals. I was a bus kid. Every Sunday I rode the bus to Sunday school....who would have thought a bus kid would now be directing Bible quizzing!? Another reason I am not qualified according to this world...I have absolutely no experience in quizzing. I have never quizzed. I have never coached a quizzer. My kids have never quizzed until now. I have never seen an actual quiz. So it has been a lot of added work just learning about it so I can coach the coaches and parents and quizzers. We do have a lot of work ahead of us, but I am so excited about it. We are already successful, because almost all of the quizzers now know Exodus 24:12! And we have not even begun. Let go and Let GOD!!!

True Victory

In the past I had circumstances that would just knock me off my feet. I would pout, beg, get angry, moody, and fight my way through it. Did it change anything? Did it make it end any faster? Did it change the outcome of the trial?? NO!!! All it did was cause my life to be absolutely miserable through out the whole situation. Not only my life was miserable but I am sure I made alot of other people miserable too. So...what have I learned? Well today as I drove to work I began to think of my current situation of stuff and start getting all mad again. I thought to myself how today was going to be a bad day because of the last couple days of stuff that has come up. I was getting in that mood all over again! Then as I had the radio on to a worship station...I realized that no matter what the circumstance is God is worthy to be praised! He is in control. So even though to me this is the end of the world and the thoughts come and tell me that " this is reallly bad" and "I cant possibly be happy during this" and "its never going to get any better"...I began to worship God and get my mind of the problems and on Him! Guess what happened! I felt better. No, my problems are still there, but now I can face them knowing God is in control. And now I can rest in Him because I gave my burden to Him to hold on to. I will allow Him to guide me through this situation. He is my GPS. He is my guide through this fog. I dont have to walk with my head down and my spirit burdened. I can be guided through this forest with my head held high knowing I am not in control but God is!!! That is true victory: when you can be in the valley and only see mountains surrounding you...but you begin to praise the Lord and have joy in your spirit. Nothing can steal my joy! But I can give it away...Dont give your joy away, its especially helpful to have when you are in the shadow of a mountain! True Victory is being able to face a trial with your head held high and your spirit lifted and hopeful to what is to come!!!

You thought it for evil but God meant it for good

Gen 50:20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; [but] God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as [it is] this day, to save much people alive.

How many times has someone done something to you in your life and you were hurt so bad by it? I bet your first reaction was not as this scripture says it. One of my favorite people to read about is Joseph. Though he was the favorite son he was later despised by his brothers. He was sold into slavery! And that was the lesser betrayal his brothers decided than actually killing him. I can not imagine sitting in prison for something I did not do. I can't imagine my own siblings despising me enough to get rid of me. And yet Joseph ended up becoming such a great person. A person used greatly to save many people through the drought in Egypt.

I think back to my life and realize now that it really is true that the things in my past, the hurts that have been done to me, the betrayals, the wounds inflicted...each and every circumstance God meant it for good even though each individual thought they were just hurting me. They didn't realize that God was actually using them. Even though there are rough areas in my past, God uses them for the good of not only my future but others. I pray that God would use me to affect people for the good! I thank God for every opportunity to do His will. Love people no matter what they have done to or for you. That is what God wants us to do. Use our lives to help someone else. We all go through things that are unique to what God wants us to go through, so we can reach others that are struggling.

Unanswered Prayers

Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of country music by any means! But...Garth Brooks, I believe wrote a song several years ago "unanswered prayers". I dont know the words but a few. I know the meaning of the song though without even hearing it. I know from years of experience the emotions behind such a song. As a parent I have to know when to say "no". If you don't ever tell your children no, they become selfish, self centered, and they will grow up thinking that everything they want, they get. Can you imagine someone in your life that you may have met or a family member that comes to mind that has never heard the word 'no' before? The person that if told no, either makes a way or runs someone over to get their way? Yeah, I have met them. People need to have a good balance of "yes' " and "no's". Adults are the same way, in that aspect, as children. God is now our parent. He is our Father. He knows what is best. He is looking out for our future. I tell my children, its your job to ask for something you want or think you need, and its my job to decide whether you need it or not. Its their responsibility to deal with the outcome. Its my job to enforce the outcome. Its the same way with God. We pray to Him for our wants and our "needs". Even though He knows what we need, I think He enjoys it when we ask Him. It's up to Him to decide whether we really "need" this in our life. Will it benefit us in some way or will it hurt us in the long run? Will it hurt someone else in the future? Is it worth the risk now for a future cause? Its alot to decide, thats why He is God! I am not smart enough sometimes...most of the time, to decide what is really best for my future and for the future of my children. I dont know what life has waiting for me if I make the wrong decision. I take comfort in knowing God has my future in His hands. I ask, He says "no" and I deal with it! He knows my heart's desire. But He also takes into account our future. I am grateful for that because looking back at all my prayers, I am thankful He did not answer some of those prayers. I prayed them in selfishness, I decided right now mattered more than my future, my kid's future. He knew all of that! I thank God not only for my answered prayers, but more so for the unanswered prayers because I believe just as a parent has a hard time saying no, so does God. I feel that as a heavenly Father, He wants to give us everything we desire, but its just not good for us. If you're a parent you may understand this concept more so than if you dont have any children.

Thank you Lord for my unanswered prayers, and I pray that you will lead me through the difficult situations in which I must endure. It would be so much easier right now if you answered my prayers, but I trust in you that you hold my family's and my future in your hands.

When you look up, what lights do you see

If you live in the city you may find it difficult to see the stars. When you look around you may find that the city lights take away from the natural lights in the sky. When the city lights saturate the sky, the stars and moon may not be as easy to see. However, for those of you that live in the country, you may find that when you look up, the stars are right there for you to see. It looks like you can reach out and touch them. There are no city lights just the natural light which God created.

Lets imagine the city lights are the world's influence. The stars and lights in the sky are God's influence. When you are in the middle of the world and its influence its more difficult to see God's will and His influence for your life. YOu are surrounded by the world's light, its artificial happiness and glamour. But, when you are in the "country" you are in God's light!!! His will is so close you can reach out and touch it. Its easier to see God's influence without the worlds influence surrounding you. So step away from the "city lights" so you can see the stars in your life.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

What a question. I am sure almost all of us have asked that same question. Why do good people suffer? Why do "christians" go through such horrible circumstances? When you serve the Lord, why must some of us endure such tragic hardships? Isn't it supposed to be easier when we have the Lord on our side? When we are struggling to do God's will, why does He let such difficulties come our way? Betrayel of a brother or a sister, abuse in any form, loss of a life of a dear family member or a friend...the list goes on.

The answer: Its our testimony! God gives us trials so we can make it through the fire to testify to other people of the God we serve. He puts things in our path that someone outside the church is enduring at that moment in their life and they need to know there is hope. If you have been abused, and you have survived it (since you are reading this, you have survived) go find someone that you can connect with. They need you! They need to know GOD! They long for hope, and you hold that hope in your hands. What will you do with it? God does not want us to hold onto the pain and let bitterness and anger boil in our blood. He gave us that hardship so we can go out to the world and witness to them. If our lives our perfect with no blemish or hardship, then how will we connect with those that need God that have difficulties in their lives. They dont want to hear how perfect our lives are, they want to know what GOD has done to transform our depression, how he took away our pain, how he helped us to overcome and turn our mourning into joy! Stop harboring anger and bitterness over your past, that is not God's will!

This came to me last night after a spiritually awakening service at church. God gives us a hardship. He allows us to go through it and He helps us overcome it, if we allow Him. If we keep it to ourselves, and keep it all inside, it will eat us up like a disease from the inside out. It will slowly destroy us a little at a time. But if we let it out and find someone that needs to hear your story, its like a healing takes place. The healing starts in you and it transfers to the other person. God begins the healing process and the disease remits itself to God. God is now in control and the disease process has stopped. But you have to get it out, you have to tell your story. Someone out there in the world has no hope right now and they are watiting for you!

The two things that cause us to keep our story/testimony to ourselves is: selfishness and pride. I talk to myself as much as to anyone reading this. I have done this. I have kept my past "hidden" for the most part, from most people. People dont know my story like I know it. They dont know of the abuse I lived through for my early preteen years. They dont know how God saved my life on an occasion where I wanted it to end. People that I have known for years think I have the perfect life, they dont realize that I have had to depend on God for breath and for strength on many occasion. Well I am hear now ready to go grab a girl off the street to tell her there is a better way! That God is a healer of spiritual scars. The scars and hurts that run in your veins can be healed by God. I am ready to tell my story! Who is going to listen, its up to God! I pray that God brings into my life someone that needs what I have to say. What about you? Are you going to sit there and hold on to yoru pain or are you going to allow God to heal you by sharing with someone who needs what you have?

God gives us life experience. He gives us these experiences not to punish us but to share with others. God is changing us, our church and me...I look forward to pursuing on and doing God's will. God bless you all and I pray this has changed something in you.

My Father

My Father:



I did not actually meet my Father until the age of 6 or maybe I was 7, although, He knew me my entire life. He knew me long before I knew Him. One evening, I finally met Him and with tears of joy in my eyes, I thanked Him for His love. I did not fully understand much about Him at that time but through my childhood our relationship would grow stronger and stronger. I would go to Him when life was rough. I would call on Him and tell Him how good or bad of a day I had. I got to really see Him on the weekends more so than during the week.

Unfortunately when I was about 10 yrs old, I turned my back on Him. I stopped talking to Him and did what I thought was best for me. Even though, I turned away, He never forgot about me. He continued to watch over me. He continued to reach for me, and desired a relationship again with me, but I would not accept it. Then when about a year later when my world came crashing down, I turned once again to Him. He was right there, right where I left Him. He stood there waiting for me. He held me in His arms and allowed me to cry everything out to him. He understood more than I could say. He helped me through the following years that would take me through the worst trial any child could go through. He held my hand. He wrapped me up in His love. When no one was there, He was.

My Father reassured me that everything was going to be okay. Eventually one day, I don’t know what triggered it but He spoke out for me. He helped me say what I could not speak. He helped me to end my troubled years. He put a stop to it all, in just one single day! Years of suffering, came to an end in a matter of hours! I love my Father with everything I have in me.

Once that was over, He gave me a brand new life. He taught me so many life lessons. He showed me how to keep my spirit in check. He showed me how to not let life make me bitter. He has been faithfully there like no one else in my life as been. He knows me better than anyone else. I have the best Father than anyone could possibly have.
Thank you Lord for being my Father!