Church last night was awesome...because God was there. I began to think about how God saved me. He pulled me literally out of darkness and into His light. When I was 12 years old...I was going through a very dark time...to put it lightly. I didn't have the problems that most pre-teens have. I would trade my troubles for those any day for what I went through. No, it wasn't boy trouble, or mood problems. Much worse. BUT...as I remember being this lonely child, I would pray to get out of the situation. God heard me...I know, but He was not ready for me to get out yet. But, when He was ready, He pulled me out in a flash. NO hesitaion, NO arugement, next thing I know I am sitting in a court room and then living a state a way then moving 2 states away from my nightmare. GOD is good. So, as I was thinking on this the song begins to play.
Something beautiful, something good
all of my confusion, Jesus understood,
when all I had to offer Him, was brokeness and strife
He made something beautiful of my life.
That says it all. I look around now, I have 3 wonderful children, a marriage that has endured for several years, a great job that benefits other people, a wonderful pastor and awesome friends. God has blessed me above measure. I have days that I complain alot to God, He knows my thoughts. But for today...I will praise the Lord. Not only for His benefits but for his unearthly blessings. For the things that I just cant find here in this world: Peace, Joy, true love, faithfulness. Thank you Lord for this day. Thank you Lord, for rescuing me and making something beautiful of my life. When I was 12 I had no idea that when I was 30 I would be where I am today. I had no anicipation for the future, because as far as I could see it was a bleak future. My days were not filled with light. And now...as I look around me...I see God's blessings.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
A good day
Its my new dispensation. Its my time for change. Today is the the beginning of the rest of my life. Do you ever get so weary of life's changes. Emotions rise and fall, faith is as big as the sky then as small as a mustard seed. Seasons come and go in a blink of an eye or as long as several years before you see a change. Life...it happens no matter if you want it too or not. But...I serve a God, who knows every season of my life. He knows what I need now to serve a purpose in my future. He knows where He wants me when He wants me there. We must push ourselves, I must push myself to look beyond the cares of today, but look toward the future. God is preparing me for a new dispensation, a new path, a new time in my life. I must be patient. I must wait and learn all I can now, because there will be a test and I must pass it to get through to the next level! We have to wait and be patient. Listen to what God is saying. He is directing our lives step by step, its us who like to turn away and then ask God where are you?? He has been there, we just have to listen to His voice, not the world's. The world will tell you its going to crash, you are not going to make it, you were never meant to be anything, you are being punished for your bad decisions...blah blah blah. You know its the world talking if its negative. But when God talks...its positive. He is not punishing us. He is not going to leave us without an out in a bad situation. He will lead us onward if we will follow. And even if in this world, we don't see all of our dreams come true...we still have not lost, because when we make it to heaven, all the cares of this world will disappear anyway! So, go forward, what do you have to lose by living your life with Jesus at your side??
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A tree in the wilderness
Today I had a privilege to hear a very special message in church today that inspired me to hang on a bit longer. I hope it helps you as it helped me today. When you feel like giving up, when life deals you "Marah" or bitter waters, hang on because God will show you where your tree is to make those waters sweet:
Bro Barker Exodus 15:19-25
The children of Israel had just crossed over the Red Sea. They had watched Pharaoh's army drown in the Red sea. They realized that God was not going to bring them out of Egypt just to let them be slaughtered in front of the Red sea but God would let them cross over on dry land. They had celebrated and been thankful for what God had done for them. Revival had broke out in the camp of the Israelites. Things looked good! Then as they traveled onward toward the Promise land, they came upon some waters. To come upon waters, they must have been thirsty. For them to find the waters they must have been searching for a drink of refreshment. They were in need of refreshment. But they only found bitter waters. When they needed some water to quench their thirst all they found was bitter water. What is bitter water? Its when everyone else is being blessed and you are not. When other families are coming to God and you alone stand on the promises of God while your family remains lost in the world. Its when your marriage is dead, when you have served God for years and your husband/wife continues on their path of destruction. Its when the doctor tells you there is no hope. When your children continue to live lives of sin. Bitter waters are when life deals you blows that at this moment of your life, you just don't think you can handle. Its when you are already thirsting for a drink from God to satisfy your burning soul because life is treating you hard. Then when you find the water, its bitter. Life seems that it is all smooth sailing for a period of time. You celebrate and thank God for circumstances working out better than you had planned. But then life happens. Things get out of control and you deal with hardship. You try to survive the wilderness. As you are surviving you then come across "Marah" or bitter waters. We ask God "why?" Maybe its because we tend not to pray enough or to study His word enough when things are okay. Maybe God wants to prove us because He has big plans for our future and He needs to prepare us for our journey through the rest of the wilderness to get to the Promised Land. So what do we do when we reach Marah? God has a plan. God has planted a tree in the wilderness. He not only planted it in preparation for us arriving to Marah but he has assured that tree would survive and flourish while God waited for us to arrive. God waits for us to say "God, I need you!" When we call on Him, He then shows us our tree. He tells us that tree He has provided and prepared for us ahead of time is now ready to be used in our life. That tree is our escape from the bitter water. If we use His tree it will turn our bitter water into a sweet experience. In the middle of our bitter water, there is already a tree planted for our deliverance. The seed was planted and watered. If I just hang on to the promise of God, He has made a way out. When the enemy tells us there is no hope, tell him "I have a tree." God is preparing me to use me like He has never used me before. He is preparing me for adversity ahead and wants to know if I can handle a little bit of bitter water. God will not leave me nor forsake me. My bitter water experience is about to get sweet. The only tree that could survive this type of wilderness climate is the Elvah tree. Which is also known as the dogwood tree. The irony in this is the cross was made out of the dogwood. So this tells us that God was showing the Israelites and His children will come to places where we need His help and He will not leave us but will always provide us a way out.
I am encouraged that soon God will show me where to find the tree. And all I have to do is put the tree in the midst of my "Marah" and they will become sweet. I just have to hang on and God will do provide...soon.
Bro Barker Exodus 15:19-25
The children of Israel had just crossed over the Red Sea. They had watched Pharaoh's army drown in the Red sea. They realized that God was not going to bring them out of Egypt just to let them be slaughtered in front of the Red sea but God would let them cross over on dry land. They had celebrated and been thankful for what God had done for them. Revival had broke out in the camp of the Israelites. Things looked good! Then as they traveled onward toward the Promise land, they came upon some waters. To come upon waters, they must have been thirsty. For them to find the waters they must have been searching for a drink of refreshment. They were in need of refreshment. But they only found bitter waters. When they needed some water to quench their thirst all they found was bitter water. What is bitter water? Its when everyone else is being blessed and you are not. When other families are coming to God and you alone stand on the promises of God while your family remains lost in the world. Its when your marriage is dead, when you have served God for years and your husband/wife continues on their path of destruction. Its when the doctor tells you there is no hope. When your children continue to live lives of sin. Bitter waters are when life deals you blows that at this moment of your life, you just don't think you can handle. Its when you are already thirsting for a drink from God to satisfy your burning soul because life is treating you hard. Then when you find the water, its bitter. Life seems that it is all smooth sailing for a period of time. You celebrate and thank God for circumstances working out better than you had planned. But then life happens. Things get out of control and you deal with hardship. You try to survive the wilderness. As you are surviving you then come across "Marah" or bitter waters. We ask God "why?" Maybe its because we tend not to pray enough or to study His word enough when things are okay. Maybe God wants to prove us because He has big plans for our future and He needs to prepare us for our journey through the rest of the wilderness to get to the Promised Land. So what do we do when we reach Marah? God has a plan. God has planted a tree in the wilderness. He not only planted it in preparation for us arriving to Marah but he has assured that tree would survive and flourish while God waited for us to arrive. God waits for us to say "God, I need you!" When we call on Him, He then shows us our tree. He tells us that tree He has provided and prepared for us ahead of time is now ready to be used in our life. That tree is our escape from the bitter water. If we use His tree it will turn our bitter water into a sweet experience. In the middle of our bitter water, there is already a tree planted for our deliverance. The seed was planted and watered. If I just hang on to the promise of God, He has made a way out. When the enemy tells us there is no hope, tell him "I have a tree." God is preparing me to use me like He has never used me before. He is preparing me for adversity ahead and wants to know if I can handle a little bit of bitter water. God will not leave me nor forsake me. My bitter water experience is about to get sweet. The only tree that could survive this type of wilderness climate is the Elvah tree. Which is also known as the dogwood tree. The irony in this is the cross was made out of the dogwood. So this tells us that God was showing the Israelites and His children will come to places where we need His help and He will not leave us but will always provide us a way out.
I am encouraged that soon God will show me where to find the tree. And all I have to do is put the tree in the midst of my "Marah" and they will become sweet. I just have to hang on and God will do provide...soon.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
"Thanks" giving
Hmmm...when you break the compound word up...you get thanks and giving. So you are thankful and you give. We give thanks. Or do we?....Do we sit around and think of what we are most thankful for...or do we fret over what to cook. Do we look around and see what God has blessed us with or do we worry over who may show up? Do we see the many blessings God has given to us or are we so caught up in having to prepare food and make everyone comfortable with drinks and appetizers and desserts that we miss what the day is really about. Thanksgiving has already passed this year, but everyday should be a Thanksgiving. Thanks for blessing me with health, and a family. A warm home, a vehicle, a job. So many things to be thankful for everyday. I hope all your Thanksgivings were as blessed as mine was.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Answered Prayer
God is awesome! I was reflecting back the other day and just realized God had answered a prayer! I thought to myself how I had not even realized that it had been answered until now. That made me thing how subtle God is. We ask for these prayers to be answered and when they are how often do we just move on to our next need instead of taking time to say "thank you." I know I have done an earlier post on giving equal amounts of thanks. So I wont take this post in that direction.
How God has worked in my life. I had this urgent prayer that I was praying for some time now. Several weeks later, it comes to mind that my prayer was answered. How could my prayer be answered and me not even realize it? Well because God did not answer it how I was expecting. I had offered my suggestions to God, of how He could answer my need. But I guess He did not see that working out very well =). So, He took the liberty in my life to answer my prayer according to what He thought best...and you know what? I love it! He saw the need, He answered it according to what He knows is best...and it all is working out! I was so busy in looking for my way, my answer, my solution that I totally missed the work He was doing!
I think more people than just me do this often. I hope I am not alone! We ask God to do a work in our lives. We offer our own solutions, maybe like option 1, option 2, etc. We busy ourselves looking for these things to come to pass, when suddenly it hits us. God already answered our prayer. Just not the way we saw fit. But how He saw how it needed to work out.
Thank you Lord for working in our lives. Thank you for being omnipotent, omnipresent, and all knowing! Thank you for your love and kindness. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Help me to offer my forgiveness and mercy to those who most of all don't deserve it....because even my enemy can love those who deserve it...but that is what seperates me from my enemy...that I can forgive the unforgiveable and love the unloveable through you God!
Have a blessed day.
How God has worked in my life. I had this urgent prayer that I was praying for some time now. Several weeks later, it comes to mind that my prayer was answered. How could my prayer be answered and me not even realize it? Well because God did not answer it how I was expecting. I had offered my suggestions to God, of how He could answer my need. But I guess He did not see that working out very well =). So, He took the liberty in my life to answer my prayer according to what He thought best...and you know what? I love it! He saw the need, He answered it according to what He knows is best...and it all is working out! I was so busy in looking for my way, my answer, my solution that I totally missed the work He was doing!
I think more people than just me do this often. I hope I am not alone! We ask God to do a work in our lives. We offer our own solutions, maybe like option 1, option 2, etc. We busy ourselves looking for these things to come to pass, when suddenly it hits us. God already answered our prayer. Just not the way we saw fit. But how He saw how it needed to work out.
Thank you Lord for working in our lives. Thank you for being omnipotent, omnipresent, and all knowing! Thank you for your love and kindness. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Help me to offer my forgiveness and mercy to those who most of all don't deserve it....because even my enemy can love those who deserve it...but that is what seperates me from my enemy...that I can forgive the unforgiveable and love the unloveable through you God!
Have a blessed day.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Just as I am....
Yes, as anyone that knows me knows that I am a huge fan of David Phelps. But that is not what this is about...a sigh of relief I hear?? =)
I was reflecting on the song lyrics this morning:
Dear Lord, I?m on my knees again
I come to You because You understand
I've tried so hard, but I just can't change myself
That's why I know I need Your help
(Chorus)
So here I am
This in my plea
My only hope is Your love for me
I'm reaching out
So desperately
Come take my hand; take all of me
Just as I am
Oh Lord, You make what's broken new
Why can't I just learn to follow You
I want to know You and feel You in my soul
I surrender all control
I am not afraid to follow You where You lead me
I can leave the past behind me
I'm forgiven and I'm free
We come to God, at some point in our lives...hopefully! and at that point, we come just as we are. We don't have to change for God to accept us. We don't have to clean things up in our life, before he makes us part of his heritage. He takes us in when we ask Him to wash our sins and accept us. God does not expect us to be clean before we come to Him, He wants us to come to Him with all that we have, just as we are. We are not meant to change things on our own, but seek out Gods strength and wisdom on how to change. Let God mold us and sculpt us because He is the potter and we are the clay. HE puts circumstances in our lives to make us into who He wants us to be. Although we may be "damaged" from life's abuses, to God we are a prized possession and that is true love. So, come to God just as you are, and let Him do the changing that He sees necessary. If you try to change yourself before coming to God, its like chasing your tail, you will never catch it. Let go and let God.
I was reflecting on the song lyrics this morning:
Dear Lord, I?m on my knees again
I come to You because You understand
I've tried so hard, but I just can't change myself
That's why I know I need Your help
(Chorus)
So here I am
This in my plea
My only hope is Your love for me
I'm reaching out
So desperately
Come take my hand; take all of me
Just as I am
Oh Lord, You make what's broken new
Why can't I just learn to follow You
I want to know You and feel You in my soul
I surrender all control
I am not afraid to follow You where You lead me
I can leave the past behind me
I'm forgiven and I'm free
We come to God, at some point in our lives...hopefully! and at that point, we come just as we are. We don't have to change for God to accept us. We don't have to clean things up in our life, before he makes us part of his heritage. He takes us in when we ask Him to wash our sins and accept us. God does not expect us to be clean before we come to Him, He wants us to come to Him with all that we have, just as we are. We are not meant to change things on our own, but seek out Gods strength and wisdom on how to change. Let God mold us and sculpt us because He is the potter and we are the clay. HE puts circumstances in our lives to make us into who He wants us to be. Although we may be "damaged" from life's abuses, to God we are a prized possession and that is true love. So, come to God just as you are, and let Him do the changing that He sees necessary. If you try to change yourself before coming to God, its like chasing your tail, you will never catch it. Let go and let God.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Turn your pain into your testimony for someone who needs it!
God is our healer. He created us and He experienced hurts and disappointments while on here on Earth. He became man, so therefore He was able to feel our pains of rejection. He knows what it is like to be betrayed. He knows the hurt of losing a loved one. Jesus wept. He came to us as one of us. He became man. Yes, He resurrected on the 3rd day and resides in Heaven. But while on Earth He felt what we feel. Saying this, He is our creator as well. He put in us emotions. He placed in us our feelings that react to various situations. Our feelings which can lie to us. Our feelings that can remind us of hurtful pasts or mistakes we have made. God knows what we go through every day.
If you have a past that is filled with hurts and pains, then that means you are human. We all have something back there that caused us to feel uncomfortable. So no matter how big you perceive it to be, really...it is only as big as you make it. It impacts your life, however you let it. If you let this "thing" affect your every mood, your relationship with people, with God...then you are allowing something of the past to be your present. Situations we go through are meant to strengthen us, to teach us something that we may need for our self or someone else. They are not meant to be a constant hurt to make you bitter or angry. If it was someone that hurt you...just remember: people make bad choices sometimes but let it be for the better. Make that hurt into something wonderful. Be encouraged that you are not alone. Allow God to remove your hurt and heal you fully so you can help lift up someone else in need. You may be the one to pull them from their lowly state by having that connection with them.
We must not just be healed but once we are healed of a hurtful past, we must lower our mask so that we can be transparent to someone in need. People hurt people. I have hurt people by my words. Just the same, people can hurt with words as much as an act. We have all hurt someone or been hurt by someone. That unfortunately is a part of life. But don't let it be something that haunts you everyday. Don't let this thing control you. Allow God to take you back and heal that pain. Let God pour out his healing virtue on your life so you can be complete. Then unveil yourself to someone else in need. Let your past be your testimony for others.
Scenario #1: A lady gets up to a group of ladies that all have abusive pasts and states " God wants to heal you I have personally watched a lady be delivered fully from her abusive past. I have seen her go to the altar sorrowful of her past and God turned that sorrow into joy! I talk with ladies everyday about this." She goes on to say that though she has never been abused...she can see how much it hurts by talking with ladies that have been.
Scenario #2: A lady gets up to a group of ladies that all have abusive pasts and states " God wants to heal you I have personally watched a lady be delivered fully from her abusive past. I have seen her go to the altar sorrowful of her past and God turned that sorrow into joy! For I was that lady!" and she continues on explaining how someone had hurt her by abusing her and how badly she hurt and felt so alone. And through the years she thought that she had dealt with it fully until one day God called to her and COMPLETELY HEALED her! God had turned all her sorrow into joy like she had never felt.
Which scenario is more powerful? Which lady would you listen to more intently? The one that was an excellent source but had never personally felt the hurt you have experienced? Or the lady with a past similar to yours, that has overcome it with the healing virtue of God?? But to do this she had to unmask herself for all to see. I pray that if you have a testimony - use it for good, stop letting it hurt you, let yourself be healed and help someone else with your testimony.
If you have a past that is filled with hurts and pains, then that means you are human. We all have something back there that caused us to feel uncomfortable. So no matter how big you perceive it to be, really...it is only as big as you make it. It impacts your life, however you let it. If you let this "thing" affect your every mood, your relationship with people, with God...then you are allowing something of the past to be your present. Situations we go through are meant to strengthen us, to teach us something that we may need for our self or someone else. They are not meant to be a constant hurt to make you bitter or angry. If it was someone that hurt you...just remember: people make bad choices sometimes but let it be for the better. Make that hurt into something wonderful. Be encouraged that you are not alone. Allow God to remove your hurt and heal you fully so you can help lift up someone else in need. You may be the one to pull them from their lowly state by having that connection with them.
We must not just be healed but once we are healed of a hurtful past, we must lower our mask so that we can be transparent to someone in need. People hurt people. I have hurt people by my words. Just the same, people can hurt with words as much as an act. We have all hurt someone or been hurt by someone. That unfortunately is a part of life. But don't let it be something that haunts you everyday. Don't let this thing control you. Allow God to take you back and heal that pain. Let God pour out his healing virtue on your life so you can be complete. Then unveil yourself to someone else in need. Let your past be your testimony for others.
Scenario #1: A lady gets up to a group of ladies that all have abusive pasts and states " God wants to heal you I have personally watched a lady be delivered fully from her abusive past. I have seen her go to the altar sorrowful of her past and God turned that sorrow into joy! I talk with ladies everyday about this." She goes on to say that though she has never been abused...she can see how much it hurts by talking with ladies that have been.
Scenario #2: A lady gets up to a group of ladies that all have abusive pasts and states " God wants to heal you I have personally watched a lady be delivered fully from her abusive past. I have seen her go to the altar sorrowful of her past and God turned that sorrow into joy! For I was that lady!" and she continues on explaining how someone had hurt her by abusing her and how badly she hurt and felt so alone. And through the years she thought that she had dealt with it fully until one day God called to her and COMPLETELY HEALED her! God had turned all her sorrow into joy like she had never felt.
Which scenario is more powerful? Which lady would you listen to more intently? The one that was an excellent source but had never personally felt the hurt you have experienced? Or the lady with a past similar to yours, that has overcome it with the healing virtue of God?? But to do this she had to unmask herself for all to see. I pray that if you have a testimony - use it for good, stop letting it hurt you, let yourself be healed and help someone else with your testimony.
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