Our worth

There were 2 friends walking and one of them states "here follow me, I want to show you something" he had just come from the ATM machine and proceeded to walk into a local café. She followed him in there wondering what he was going to show her. He proceeds to lay cash on the table and quickly walks away beckoning her to follow at a fast pace. She is boggled by what just occurs but goes with it. As she is wondering about what just happened he asks her, " do you know how much money I just put down in there?" she replies no. He tells her it was 20 bucks. He then asks if she knows why he did that. She guesses that he must have done that to "to be nice to someone?" "No" he responds. " Someone is going to come along and find that money and snatch it up because its 20 bucks. You are worth more than 20 dollars and when someone sees you, they are going to snatch you up because of your worth." Well needless to say that made her feel like she was worth more than 20 bucks but more like a million dollars! That is how God sees us. We may only see our worth as a piece of paper that can only be used for a certain amount of time before we are all used up, but God sees us as priceless. He sees our worth and picks us from this world. He sees what we don't see in ourselves. We may just be lying on a street corner or maybe living in an abusive home, or dealing with a tough situation that we don't feel like we will ever escape from. God sees where we are and he will send the right person at the right time to "snatch us up" and use us for God's kingdom.

The sacrifices of life

Abraham was asked to sacrafice the one thing he loved with all of his heart. The thing he desired and had prayed to God for. I can imagine him up there with tears in his eyes, the knife in his hand, readying himself to sacrifice his son. I imagine his throat was closed up and he could barely utter a word, but he knew that if God had asked him to do this deed, there was a reason for it. No matter the end result he trusted that God knew best. I also think he contemplated whether God would allow his son to still live even if Abraham saw this through. He trusted God no matter what. How many things do we offer to God as a sacrifice. When God asks us to sacrifice that one thing that we ultimately desire in our hearts, can we do it? Can we put it on the altar and sacrfice it to God trusting that He will provide a sacrfice in place of it? How far are we willing to go? What does God ask us to sacrifice? Has he asked you to sacrfice a life of happiness for a focused life that is committed to His will? Has he asked you to ever give up anything that meant the world to you? Think of something that is so dear to you it could be a person, a goal in life, a desire to attain or obtain something, an object of affection...the list goes on. We all have them. We all have that one thing that as life has gone on we long for that keeps us moving forward. The hope of getting to that goal keeps us moving on days we just want to drop and stay down. That desire you long for day in and day out, a life of happiness if only you had this one thing in your arms. Think of it. Picture the details to this desire you have. Imagine you have it or are so close to having it. Like a baby learning to crawl and you put those keys just where they can't reach them so it inspires them to move forward then as soon as they reach them...SNATCH! You pick them right up and move them again. Abraham finally had his son. In fact he had him for several years now. I don't think God told him in the beginning when Isaac was a child that eventually he would have to offer him as a sacrifice. Abraham had attained the one possession he so desired...his son. Then several years come and go Abraham is satisfied with his promised child and suddenly God appears to change things a bit in his life. Abraham finds himself choosing to offer up that child to God. God demanded it, so to Abraham and his faith that was the decision. He states that God would provide himself a sacrifice. Do we trust God enough to provide a sacrifice.

Why wounds itch...

The other day I scraped my hand on a board and a few layers of skin became less of my hand and more of the board I was working on. It hurt needless to say but now a week or so later its healing as it should. But it is more irritating now that it is healing than when I hurt it. Why? It itches and itches and itches. Do you find the deeper more severe the wound the more it itches when healing? The little ones don’t bother you much, they heal the scab falls off and on you go. But the deeper more severe the wound, the more area it covers, the more blood it spills…these are the ones that really itch when healing. I tried researching why do wounds itch when they heal and I found a few theories: -scabs are dry and rough, and when partnered with the development of new skin, they can stimulate the itch you feel as the wound begins to heal, new skin may be more sensitive, which may lead to more itching sensations. - new nerve growth causes signals to be received and sent to stimulate healing and this can feel itchy under your wound So if we understand that when we have been physically hurt, usually by my own doing due to clumsiness, our body begans to repair itself. The healing process begins. But as it heals in the later stages the irritation comes back in a different form no longer are you feeling pain but its replaced by an itch. Itches can be annoying, distracting, irritating and so on, especially if no matter what you do the itch can not be relieved until the healing process is finished and the new skin is done growing. If we compare this to life’s hurts and wounds. The deeper the wound the more irritation you may have when that wound is trying to heal in the later stages. Right before its completely healed the irritation can be at its worst! New growth is occurring, new feelings are taking the place of the old hurtful ones. The damaged area that you used to feel pain in is now replaced with new feelings you hadn’t felt in this are before. You may be feeling frustration at letting go, feeling lonely because you are no longer in the company of your pain, you may even feel a longing for the new “skin” to grow faster! New does not mix well with old so there is friction and irritation that occurs as the old is passing away and the new is being born. Matthew 9:16-17 discusses this with material and wine. Jesus tells us that putting old cloth with new fabric will cause the tear to become worse! And new wine into old bottles will cause the bottles to break! So when you have been wounded be prepared for the healing process. Once the pain is dissipated be ready for the next feelings to come along before joy can be attained. Wounds will be a part of life, so get good at knowing the healing process and where you are at in it. I am constantly hurting myself and it’s not usually caused by other people…hmmm sounds like another blog for another time. ;) Please read my blog on Scars for more about healing.

Going through the fire

Daniel 3:19-27 Three men entered the fiery furnace because they were unilling to compromise God's commandments. The men that threw them in there were consumed by the fire. What was used to bind these men was consumed by the fire. The remained in the fire for a bit of time but then were summoned out by the one that cast them in to the furnace of flames. When they left the furnace and came out, they neither smelled of smoke, or had any residue of the fire whatsoever on them. There are a few points here that we can put into place in our own lives. 1. The king demanded they be placed in the furnace that was heated up times hotter than normal. Sometimes God will demand of us to walk in the fire of life and it may be heated up extra just for us to increase faith not only in us but in others that are watching our lives unfold. But do not forget God is watching us and never leaves His eyes off of us. He will call us out of the fire when He is ready. When the timing is right, He will bring us out into victory. 2.Daniel 3: 20,22 The men that threw them in the fire were consumed by the fire. These were the most mighty men it states. The king had chosed his most mighty men to be in charge of binding them and putting them in the fire. Their may be people responsible for putting us into tight positions. But they are only tools of God. God has used them to put us where we need to be at any given time but He will then remove them from our lives. They may not stay in our lives forever, but just temporarily enough to get us where God wants us to be. Don't focus on these men, they are only doing they have been ordered to do. Focus on the King who has given the order for He as full control of the situation at hand. Don't let offenses come, these people are only preparing you for what God has in store. Sometimes, it means they have to be the ones to bind you and direct you to the fire. 3. Daniel 3:21,25 What was used to bind these men was also consumed by the fire. Circumstances that the devil has meant to harm you and prevent you from doing the work of the Lord will be consumed and burnt away. Situations that should have weakened you will be melted away and in them you will find strength from God. For you are not alone in the fire, God is with you. He will endure what we endure. God will take away what should have bound you and allow you to be free. What was meant for evil God meant it to be good (Genesis 50:20) 4.Daniel 3:26-29 After walking around in the fire the same King that demanded them to be thrown in there, commanded them out. He came near to the fire and called them. God knows the perfect amount of time for us to remain in the fire before He calls us out. He knows who is watching us and the right time for us to finally make it through. He knows the steps we must take before the trial can end. If it's too short not enough things can take place for God's work to be finished in other's hearts. It's not just about me or you who is going through the fire, but it may be about the onlookers, God may be dealing with someone else that you are completely unaware of. 5. Daniel 3:27 The people standing by saw the fire had no power on their bodies, no hair was singed, nor did they even smell of smoke. You know when you are even near a fire you will have the smell of fire on your clothes. But not them. God protected them that when they came out not a hair was touched nor did the have any residue of the fire on them whatsoever. They came out of the fire untouched by the flames. The only thing different about them was they were no longer bound. God will bring you through and if you enter the fire bound up rest assured when you come out no residue of the situation will linger on you and you will be set free from whatever bound you in the first place. Trust God when He puts you in the furnace, no matter how long you remain when you come out, you will be free. I don't know about you but I can remember going through the fire. It seemed like I was never getting out. But the one thing I knew God was with me. I know the person that put me in the fire and God did consume that very person. It was my job not to hold onto bitterness toward them as they were just a tool. When God was finished using them, He stepped in and took care of them. I want to be used by God but not as a tool to cause someone to enter the fire as His judgement will come forth as I was able to watch unfold. I thank God for the fire as when I was summoned out, I was a new person. It wasn't easy walking around in the fire waiting for my King to call me out, as a matter of fact, I tried leaving my fire early but He would not have it. He called me out in His timing. To this day, I see others that have gone through similar fires and they smell of the smoke, their hairs are singed from it and that is because they did not have God with them, they did not call on His name when they entered in. Thankfully when I was cast in the fire, I knew God and knew that He was protecting me while the fire burned around me. It was hot, intimidating, and sometimes lonely but looking back, I know see the hand of God working all along. I pray this finds you well and makes sense. I pray that God fills in the gaps here that I may have left out. Study this story and pray that God reveals to you what He revealed to me.

Hustle530 Mudrun 2013

Hustle530 Mudrun in Oroville, CA kickoff

The pit

Staying strong...

Finished strong...NOT!!!

...and the fun part...clean up!

This weekend was our mudrun that we have been training for. We have worked hard for 9 weeks training and increasing endurance so we could do it. It was funner than I ever imagined. It was hard enough to make me work at it but easy enough to not scare me off of future runs. We were called the "skirt squad". We represented other Pentecostal girls that are told.."you can't do that in a skirt!" and survived! I am hooked on future runs but this was by far worth all the training that Jessica made me do. What an awesome way to end my year and get ready to be another year older. YEAH! Life is hard, run harder!!!

Too Blessed to be Stressed OR too Stressed to be Blessed


Have you ever seen this saying “TOO blessed to be stressed”? When I see
this it really makes me think. Am I? Do I have so many blessings that
there is no reason why I need to be stressed? Why can’t I feel this
way? When I begin to look at my blessings and where God has brought me
from, I immediately feel less stressed. My past begins to remind me
that I don’t deserve my present or my future that God has promised me.
Then God reminds me of His grace and faithfulness and His mercy. I
remember that God has abundantly blessed me and why should I be
stressed at this present time over something so minor. When I remember
where I came from, what I used to fear, things that I would face on a
daily basis- TRUE STRESS, it reminds me that what I face now is so
minor. I am too blessed to be stressed. But….

Sometimes….I become so stressed that I don’t remember how blessed I
am. My stress overrules my blessings. The stress of this world weighs
on me and pulls my blessing out from underneath me. All the things God
has done for me fade into the background and I only see the stress of
things to be done, people that let me down, and the daily hustle and
bustle of life in general. I become too stressed to be blessed. Being
blessed is not just receiving things from God. Being blessed is a
mentality. It’s a way of thinking that God has His hand in your life
daily, moment by moment He is watching and working in your life and
guiding each step you take. Maybe He is carrying you in your low
times. He is guiding you and helping you accomplish His will for your
life. What more of a blessing is there than to have the CREATOR OF THE
UNIVERSE watching my life and guiding my steps?! He loves me… God
loves me…and sinner…a worm…made from dirt…GOD LOVES ME! That is the
blessing! No one can take that away and that is what blessings are,
non disposable gifts from God.

So ask yourself today…Are you too blessed to be stressed or too
stressed to be blessed...?

Trees are like people...

Have you ever just really thought about the types of trees that are out there? Right now they are beginning to bud new flowers because it's the change of season right now. Interesting though some trees are still hanging on to their old leaves...Why? It makes them look so ugly. Don't they know you are so much more beautiful if you let go of old stuff and allow the new buds to bloom? Then you have these trees that are still barren of new life but we all know that in just a little while they will bring forth beautiful flowers of their own. Let's look at the evergreen tree. They are just always green. Every once in a while they will drop a few dead limbs or dead pine needles but overall they are still green all year long. Some trees need to be pruned back to their main limbs whereas other trees only need a little pruning along the way.
Now lets think about people...how many people do you know are like a tree that I described above? How many times do we ourselves represent a tree. Psalm 1:3 states ...and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season, his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.  That is what God meant for us if we walk not in the counsel of the ungodly or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the scornful but delight ourselves in the law of the Lord. But so many times we allow life to get us down. Something bad happens in our life, something that is dead and gone. We are meant to bury it under the blood but we don't. We hold on to it and this prevents God from blooming anything new in our life. Then sometimes we need to be pruned and shaped as God sees fit. He cuts back things in our life that He knows are not going to be productive. It hurts us and sometimes we look so bare that you would not think we are ever going to produce anything for God again. Have you ever seen those trees that they cut completely back? Its amazing how full they are in the summer time again. Then we are like those evergreens that rarely require maintenance. God just causes the wind to blow and they prune themselves of unproductive limbs. They drop their own dead fruit. But even evergreens can die and need to be cut completely down. So no matter what kind of tree you are, allow God to prune you. Allow yourself to drop your dead leaves, so you can look beautiful when it's your time to bloom.

Delayed post: My baby is going to be 13!

Hee Hee, I had written this a while back, well actually 2 years ago, thought I would go ahead and post it now 7/09 Well she is not the baby of the family, she is my oldest. But nonetheless just as special as my other 2! This child is the leader, is very smart, and a pleasure to hang out with. Yes, she is hitting those much feared years by many parents. The teenage years. Woahhaaaa haaa! But really for her its a breeze. It may cause a bit more emotions than we are used to but we are taking it one step at a time. This child has so many wonderful qualities. She is my friend and my daughter, and I am so proud to have her at my side. God really knew what He was doing when He gave her to me first. Being the oldest child is not the easiest job, I understand, but she does it so well. By being the oldest you are held responsible for 99.9% of everything that goes wrong while mom and dad are not in the room. The finger always gets pointed to the oldest. The oldest will be asked to do more. The oldest is asked to do stuff when noone else wants too. The oldest is responsible for keeping the other two quiet when mom or dad are in a "mood". Alot weighs on the oldest child. Yet, the trust that the parents have for the oldest can not be taken lightly either. The oldest is expected to be more responsible because they have been around slightly longer than the other children. They are expected to be the example of the younger ones. My daughter has helped me through alot of trials in life, just by being my daughter. She has made me not want to give up when I really wanted to. All I had to do was look down at her and have her look up to me and that can give any parent enough strength to carry on. She means the world to me, and I just want her to know how proud I am of her. No matter what she does in life, she will succeed. God is in her life so strong, and a mom can want nothing more than that. As long as she keeps a close relationship with God, she will not go wrong. It is difficult to watch my baby grow. To remember no so long ago, her taking the first step, saying "Momma" and "Appy" (happy). To hear her giggle for the first time. To sing her first song, lose her first tooth. Ride her bike, go to preschool, kindergarten. All the firsts, are so memorable. Now, as she grows she is starting to become accountable to her own decisions. I hope and pray that I have taught her all that she needs to know, and God feels in the gaps! Farewell childhood, and welcome Teenage years I know you will do alright!

Bible quizzing practice #1

Wow! I am on an emotional high right now. It is Tuesday morning, the day after our very first Bible quiz practice. I am so proud that these children are learning the word of God and can quote scripture. I am happy that God has used my husband and myself to kickoff Bible quizzing in FAC. He has supplied us with people that have similar burdens and children that are willing to put their best foot forward. I am overjoyed right now. God has really blessed us with this one! Words can not express what I feel inside, hey, thats a song...I think. Seriously though, to try to put into words right now what I feel seems impossible. I do believe that Bible quizzing is the best thing that I have ever been involved in. I am now completely and utterly hooked. I am by no means a leader but somehow God is working through us to bring this huge task to completion. God is so good, God IS GOOD! Its what He is, not the things He does, HE just is GOOD!. If you dont have a local Bible quiz team, start one! If you need help, ask around. Find a local church that is willing to help you and get it started. You will be blessed and in turn you will secure the life of a young person living their life in God's will. I am amazed with God. I am in shock that this is actually happening! Thank you God for placing this in our care. Thank you!!! And, I have to gloat for a second...our children were awesome! To personally watch them struggle to learn verses and then get up their and buzz in and answer ...all I can say is WOW!!! To watch their hardwork pay off and put into action...WOW!!! I am proud of any child that gets up their and just tries!

My recent blessing

It has been quite a while since I have posted. Its not that God has not laid anything on my heart its that God has filled up my life! Its unbelievable the blessings God has been arranging in my life these past couple of months. I am no longer weary and tired from trials and tribulations, I am tired in a good way. We went from not doing a whole lot for the church to becoming Sunday School teachers to 9-11 yr olds. Dan began working as the Men's leader and we are both directing and coaching Bible quizzing. Sunday school is exceedingly rewarding. These kids are eager to learn and they participate wholeheartedly. I enjoy every single one of them. Its very rewarding. If you have never taught Sunday School before and you are feeling that your life is not going anywhere and that everything is at a standstill...Go teach Sunday School! While at Camp meeting we were talking to a local pastor and suddenly the burden of Bible quizzing was laid on my heart. It had been on my husbands heart apparently already, but now it was on both of us. From that moment I purposed in my heart that this would go forward. While at Camp meeting we asked around and got feedback and approval to go for it! Everyone I talked to said the same thing " Its a lot of hard work!." But through God all things are possible. Of course, they were all right. It is a lot of work. But....when the kids were so excited about it, it renews your energy. When they run up to you quoting scripture, it reignites the fire inside. When you hear these 7-8 yr olds discussing how hard a verse was and how they memorized it....the burden gets lighter! When I did not think there was anyone that was going to give us a hand and that we would figure this out all alone, God provided. He gave us a local pastor that stretched out and is coaching us along with a great spirit! Its amazing to see God work in your life. When you really dont think there is much to do, God pours down His will and His sustenance to do His will. We have been busy doing fundraising and have been able to order material. The kids actual start day is today with memorization. We have a practice in 2 weeks for the first time. I believe that will help encourage the kids of how much fun this is going to be. My son asked me how can someone do all that we are doing right now...he said you cant do all that. But with God....you can! I am so thankful that God has put this into my life. From where I came from...to where I am now is not by my doing, its God's. If I were to look back when I was...say 13...you would not have thought this was possible in my life. If you were to look back from the age of 15 or 16 or even 3 years ago...you would have said there was no hope. And now, God has blessed this family more than I could have ever dreamed! I had to let go of several things so God could place this in my hands. When I finally said, I am done, God said, Okay, here you go! When I was ready to let go of all the past struggles and the lack of self worth and trust God, He turned around and gave me a gift. Its hard to let go of things, its because we maybe dont fully trust God. If you don't trust someone you are not going to give them something to hold onto for you. Its difficult to let go of things because we have held onto them for so long. Our hands are clasped so tight. But, if you let go, there are blessings abundantly waiting for you. Blessings that you can't contain. I did not come from a line of Pentecostals. I was a bus kid. Every Sunday I rode the bus to Sunday school....who would have thought a bus kid would now be directing Bible quizzing!? Another reason I am not qualified according to this world...I have absolutely no experience in quizzing. I have never quizzed. I have never coached a quizzer. My kids have never quizzed until now. I have never seen an actual quiz. So it has been a lot of added work just learning about it so I can coach the coaches and parents and quizzers. We do have a lot of work ahead of us, but I am so excited about it. We are already successful, because almost all of the quizzers now know Exodus 24:12! And we have not even begun. Let go and Let GOD!!!

True Victory

In the past I had circumstances that would just knock me off my feet. I would pout, beg, get angry, moody, and fight my way through it. Did it change anything? Did it make it end any faster? Did it change the outcome of the trial?? NO!!! All it did was cause my life to be absolutely miserable through out the whole situation. Not only my life was miserable but I am sure I made alot of other people miserable too. So...what have I learned? Well today as I drove to work I began to think of my current situation of stuff and start getting all mad again. I thought to myself how today was going to be a bad day because of the last couple days of stuff that has come up. I was getting in that mood all over again! Then as I had the radio on to a worship station...I realized that no matter what the circumstance is God is worthy to be praised! He is in control. So even though to me this is the end of the world and the thoughts come and tell me that " this is reallly bad" and "I cant possibly be happy during this" and "its never going to get any better"...I began to worship God and get my mind of the problems and on Him! Guess what happened! I felt better. No, my problems are still there, but now I can face them knowing God is in control. And now I can rest in Him because I gave my burden to Him to hold on to. I will allow Him to guide me through this situation. He is my GPS. He is my guide through this fog. I dont have to walk with my head down and my spirit burdened. I can be guided through this forest with my head held high knowing I am not in control but God is!!! That is true victory: when you can be in the valley and only see mountains surrounding you...but you begin to praise the Lord and have joy in your spirit. Nothing can steal my joy! But I can give it away...Dont give your joy away, its especially helpful to have when you are in the shadow of a mountain! True Victory is being able to face a trial with your head held high and your spirit lifted and hopeful to what is to come!!!

You thought it for evil but God meant it for good

Gen 50:20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; [but] God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as [it is] this day, to save much people alive.

How many times has someone done something to you in your life and you were hurt so bad by it? I bet your first reaction was not as this scripture says it. One of my favorite people to read about is Joseph. Though he was the favorite son he was later despised by his brothers. He was sold into slavery! And that was the lesser betrayal his brothers decided than actually killing him. I can not imagine sitting in prison for something I did not do. I can't imagine my own siblings despising me enough to get rid of me. And yet Joseph ended up becoming such a great person. A person used greatly to save many people through the drought in Egypt.

I think back to my life and realize now that it really is true that the things in my past, the hurts that have been done to me, the betrayals, the wounds inflicted...each and every circumstance God meant it for good even though each individual thought they were just hurting me. They didn't realize that God was actually using them. Even though there are rough areas in my past, God uses them for the good of not only my future but others. I pray that God would use me to affect people for the good! I thank God for every opportunity to do His will. Love people no matter what they have done to or for you. That is what God wants us to do. Use our lives to help someone else. We all go through things that are unique to what God wants us to go through, so we can reach others that are struggling.

Unanswered Prayers

Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of country music by any means! But...Garth Brooks, I believe wrote a song several years ago "unanswered prayers". I dont know the words but a few. I know the meaning of the song though without even hearing it. I know from years of experience the emotions behind such a song. As a parent I have to know when to say "no". If you don't ever tell your children no, they become selfish, self centered, and they will grow up thinking that everything they want, they get. Can you imagine someone in your life that you may have met or a family member that comes to mind that has never heard the word 'no' before? The person that if told no, either makes a way or runs someone over to get their way? Yeah, I have met them. People need to have a good balance of "yes' " and "no's". Adults are the same way, in that aspect, as children. God is now our parent. He is our Father. He knows what is best. He is looking out for our future. I tell my children, its your job to ask for something you want or think you need, and its my job to decide whether you need it or not. Its their responsibility to deal with the outcome. Its my job to enforce the outcome. Its the same way with God. We pray to Him for our wants and our "needs". Even though He knows what we need, I think He enjoys it when we ask Him. It's up to Him to decide whether we really "need" this in our life. Will it benefit us in some way or will it hurt us in the long run? Will it hurt someone else in the future? Is it worth the risk now for a future cause? Its alot to decide, thats why He is God! I am not smart enough sometimes...most of the time, to decide what is really best for my future and for the future of my children. I dont know what life has waiting for me if I make the wrong decision. I take comfort in knowing God has my future in His hands. I ask, He says "no" and I deal with it! He knows my heart's desire. But He also takes into account our future. I am grateful for that because looking back at all my prayers, I am thankful He did not answer some of those prayers. I prayed them in selfishness, I decided right now mattered more than my future, my kid's future. He knew all of that! I thank God not only for my answered prayers, but more so for the unanswered prayers because I believe just as a parent has a hard time saying no, so does God. I feel that as a heavenly Father, He wants to give us everything we desire, but its just not good for us. If you're a parent you may understand this concept more so than if you dont have any children.

Thank you Lord for my unanswered prayers, and I pray that you will lead me through the difficult situations in which I must endure. It would be so much easier right now if you answered my prayers, but I trust in you that you hold my family's and my future in your hands.

When you look up, what lights do you see

If you live in the city you may find it difficult to see the stars. When you look around you may find that the city lights take away from the natural lights in the sky. When the city lights saturate the sky, the stars and moon may not be as easy to see. However, for those of you that live in the country, you may find that when you look up, the stars are right there for you to see. It looks like you can reach out and touch them. There are no city lights just the natural light which God created.

Lets imagine the city lights are the world's influence. The stars and lights in the sky are God's influence. When you are in the middle of the world and its influence its more difficult to see God's will and His influence for your life. YOu are surrounded by the world's light, its artificial happiness and glamour. But, when you are in the "country" you are in God's light!!! His will is so close you can reach out and touch it. Its easier to see God's influence without the worlds influence surrounding you. So step away from the "city lights" so you can see the stars in your life.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

What a question. I am sure almost all of us have asked that same question. Why do good people suffer? Why do "christians" go through such horrible circumstances? When you serve the Lord, why must some of us endure such tragic hardships? Isn't it supposed to be easier when we have the Lord on our side? When we are struggling to do God's will, why does He let such difficulties come our way? Betrayel of a brother or a sister, abuse in any form, loss of a life of a dear family member or a friend...the list goes on.

The answer: Its our testimony! God gives us trials so we can make it through the fire to testify to other people of the God we serve. He puts things in our path that someone outside the church is enduring at that moment in their life and they need to know there is hope. If you have been abused, and you have survived it (since you are reading this, you have survived) go find someone that you can connect with. They need you! They need to know GOD! They long for hope, and you hold that hope in your hands. What will you do with it? God does not want us to hold onto the pain and let bitterness and anger boil in our blood. He gave us that hardship so we can go out to the world and witness to them. If our lives our perfect with no blemish or hardship, then how will we connect with those that need God that have difficulties in their lives. They dont want to hear how perfect our lives are, they want to know what GOD has done to transform our depression, how he took away our pain, how he helped us to overcome and turn our mourning into joy! Stop harboring anger and bitterness over your past, that is not God's will!

This came to me last night after a spiritually awakening service at church. God gives us a hardship. He allows us to go through it and He helps us overcome it, if we allow Him. If we keep it to ourselves, and keep it all inside, it will eat us up like a disease from the inside out. It will slowly destroy us a little at a time. But if we let it out and find someone that needs to hear your story, its like a healing takes place. The healing starts in you and it transfers to the other person. God begins the healing process and the disease remits itself to God. God is now in control and the disease process has stopped. But you have to get it out, you have to tell your story. Someone out there in the world has no hope right now and they are watiting for you!

The two things that cause us to keep our story/testimony to ourselves is: selfishness and pride. I talk to myself as much as to anyone reading this. I have done this. I have kept my past "hidden" for the most part, from most people. People dont know my story like I know it. They dont know of the abuse I lived through for my early preteen years. They dont know how God saved my life on an occasion where I wanted it to end. People that I have known for years think I have the perfect life, they dont realize that I have had to depend on God for breath and for strength on many occasion. Well I am hear now ready to go grab a girl off the street to tell her there is a better way! That God is a healer of spiritual scars. The scars and hurts that run in your veins can be healed by God. I am ready to tell my story! Who is going to listen, its up to God! I pray that God brings into my life someone that needs what I have to say. What about you? Are you going to sit there and hold on to yoru pain or are you going to allow God to heal you by sharing with someone who needs what you have?

God gives us life experience. He gives us these experiences not to punish us but to share with others. God is changing us, our church and me...I look forward to pursuing on and doing God's will. God bless you all and I pray this has changed something in you.

My Father

My Father:



I did not actually meet my Father until the age of 6 or maybe I was 7, although, He knew me my entire life. He knew me long before I knew Him. One evening, I finally met Him and with tears of joy in my eyes, I thanked Him for His love. I did not fully understand much about Him at that time but through my childhood our relationship would grow stronger and stronger. I would go to Him when life was rough. I would call on Him and tell Him how good or bad of a day I had. I got to really see Him on the weekends more so than during the week.

Unfortunately when I was about 10 yrs old, I turned my back on Him. I stopped talking to Him and did what I thought was best for me. Even though, I turned away, He never forgot about me. He continued to watch over me. He continued to reach for me, and desired a relationship again with me, but I would not accept it. Then when about a year later when my world came crashing down, I turned once again to Him. He was right there, right where I left Him. He stood there waiting for me. He held me in His arms and allowed me to cry everything out to him. He understood more than I could say. He helped me through the following years that would take me through the worst trial any child could go through. He held my hand. He wrapped me up in His love. When no one was there, He was.

My Father reassured me that everything was going to be okay. Eventually one day, I don’t know what triggered it but He spoke out for me. He helped me say what I could not speak. He helped me to end my troubled years. He put a stop to it all, in just one single day! Years of suffering, came to an end in a matter of hours! I love my Father with everything I have in me.

Once that was over, He gave me a brand new life. He taught me so many life lessons. He showed me how to keep my spirit in check. He showed me how to not let life make me bitter. He has been faithfully there like no one else in my life as been. He knows me better than anyone else. I have the best Father than anyone could possibly have.
Thank you Lord for being my Father!

He made something beautiful of my life...

Church last night was awesome...because God was there. I began to think about how God saved me. He pulled me literally out of darkness and into His light. When I was 12 years old...I was going through a very dark time...to put it lightly. I didn't have the problems that most pre-teens have. I would trade my troubles for those any day for what I went through. No, it wasn't boy trouble, or mood problems. Much worse. BUT...as I remember being this lonely child, I would pray to get out of the situation. God heard me...I know, but He was not ready for me to get out yet. But, when He was ready, He pulled me out in a flash. NO hesitaion, NO arugement, next thing I know I am sitting in a court room and then living a state a way then moving 2 states away from my nightmare. GOD is good. So, as I was thinking on this the song begins to play.

Something beautiful, something good
all of my confusion, Jesus understood,
when all I had to offer Him, was brokeness and strife
He made something beautiful of my life.

That says it all. I look around now, I have 3 wonderful children, a marriage that has endured for several years, a great job that benefits other people, a wonderful pastor and awesome friends. God has blessed me above measure. I have days that I complain alot to God, He knows my thoughts. But for today...I will praise the Lord. Not only for His benefits but for his unearthly blessings. For the things that I just cant find here in this world: Peace, Joy, true love, faithfulness. Thank you Lord for this day. Thank you Lord, for rescuing me and making something beautiful of my life. When I was 12 I had no idea that when I was 30 I would be where I am today. I had no anicipation for the future, because as far as I could see it was a bleak future. My days were not filled with light. And now...as I look around me...I see God's blessings.

A good day

Its my new dispensation. Its my time for change. Today is the the beginning of the rest of my life. Do you ever get so weary of life's changes. Emotions rise and fall, faith is as big as the sky then as small as a mustard seed. Seasons come and go in a blink of an eye or as long as several years before you see a change. Life...it happens no matter if you want it too or not. But...I serve a God, who knows every season of my life. He knows what I need now to serve a purpose in my future. He knows where He wants me when He wants me there. We must push ourselves, I must push myself to look beyond the cares of today, but look toward the future. God is preparing me for a new dispensation, a new path, a new time in my life. I must be patient. I must wait and learn all I can now, because there will be a test and I must pass it to get through to the next level! We have to wait and be patient. Listen to what God is saying. He is directing our lives step by step, its us who like to turn away and then ask God where are you?? He has been there, we just have to listen to His voice, not the world's. The world will tell you its going to crash, you are not going to make it, you were never meant to be anything, you are being punished for your bad decisions...blah blah blah. You know its the world talking if its negative. But when God talks...its positive. He is not punishing us. He is not going to leave us without an out in a bad situation. He will lead us onward if we will follow. And even if in this world, we don't see all of our dreams come true...we still have not lost, because when we make it to heaven, all the cares of this world will disappear anyway! So, go forward, what do you have to lose by living your life with Jesus at your side??

A tree in the wilderness

Today I had a privilege to hear a very special message in church today that inspired me to hang on a bit longer. I hope it helps you as it helped me today. When you feel like giving up, when life deals you "Marah" or bitter waters, hang on because God will show you where your tree is to make those waters sweet:

Bro Barker Exodus 15:19-25

The children of Israel had just crossed over the Red Sea. They had watched Pharaoh's army drown in the Red sea. They realized that God was not going to bring them out of Egypt just to let them be slaughtered in front of the Red sea but God would let them cross over on dry land. They had celebrated and been thankful for what God had done for them. Revival had broke out in the camp of the Israelites. Things looked good! Then as they traveled onward toward the Promise land, they came upon some waters. To come upon waters, they must have been thirsty. For them to find the waters they must have been searching for a drink of refreshment. They were in need of refreshment. But they only found bitter waters. When they needed some water to quench their thirst all they found was bitter water. What is bitter water? Its when everyone else is being blessed and you are not. When other families are coming to God and you alone stand on the promises of God while your family remains lost in the world. Its when your marriage is dead, when you have served God for years and your husband/wife continues on their path of destruction. Its when the doctor tells you there is no hope. When your children continue to live lives of sin. Bitter waters are when life deals you blows that at this moment of your life, you just don't think you can handle. Its when you are already thirsting for a drink from God to satisfy your burning soul because life is treating you hard. Then when you find the water, its bitter. Life seems that it is all smooth sailing for a period of time. You celebrate and thank God for circumstances working out better than you had planned. But then life happens. Things get out of control and you deal with hardship. You try to survive the wilderness. As you are surviving you then come across "Marah" or bitter waters. We ask God "why?" Maybe its because we tend not to pray enough or to study His word enough when things are okay. Maybe God wants to prove us because He has big plans for our future and He needs to prepare us for our journey through the rest of the wilderness to get to the Promised Land. So what do we do when we reach Marah? God has a plan. God has planted a tree in the wilderness. He not only planted it in preparation for us arriving to Marah but he has assured that tree would survive and flourish while God waited for us to arrive. God waits for us to say "God, I need you!" When we call on Him, He then shows us our tree. He tells us that tree He has provided and prepared for us ahead of time is now ready to be used in our life. That tree is our escape from the bitter water. If we use His tree it will turn our bitter water into a sweet experience. In the middle of our bitter water, there is already a tree planted for our deliverance. The seed was planted and watered. If I just hang on to the promise of God, He has made a way out. When the enemy tells us there is no hope, tell him "I have a tree." God is preparing me to use me like He has never used me before. He is preparing me for adversity ahead and wants to know if I can handle a little bit of bitter water. God will not leave me nor forsake me. My bitter water experience is about to get sweet. The only tree that could survive this type of wilderness climate is the Elvah tree. Which is also known as the dogwood tree. The irony in this is the cross was made out of the dogwood. So this tells us that God was showing the Israelites and His children will come to places where we need His help and He will not leave us but will always provide us a way out.

I am encouraged that soon God will show me where to find the tree. And all I have to do is put the tree in the midst of my "Marah" and they will become sweet. I just have to hang on and God will do provide...soon.

"Thanks" giving

Hmmm...when you break the compound word up...you get thanks and giving. So you are thankful and you give. We give thanks. Or do we?....Do we sit around and think of what we are most thankful for...or do we fret over what to cook. Do we look around and see what God has blessed us with or do we worry over who may show up? Do we see the many blessings God has given to us or are we so caught up in having to prepare food and make everyone comfortable with drinks and appetizers and desserts that we miss what the day is really about. Thanksgiving has already passed this year, but everyday should be a Thanksgiving. Thanks for blessing me with health, and a family. A warm home, a vehicle, a job. So many things to be thankful for everyday. I hope all your Thanksgivings were as blessed as mine was.